Matt and Mello's song
by Light and Noise
Summary: Pure. Crack. Don't like crack fics, poor you. Matt and Mello lack lives, so this is what they do in their free time. XOXOXOXO- Yoroichi.Is.Sailor.L
1. Mello had a little Near

_Mello had a little Near, little Near, little Near, Mello had a little Near whose hair was white as sheep._

_Everywhere that Mello went, Mello went, Mello went, everywhere that Mello went that Near was sure to go._

_He followed him to Matt one day, Matt one day, Matt one day which was against the rules._

_He watched Mello and Matt be gay, Matt be gay, Matt be gay, he watched Mello and Matt be gay, which was really kind of weird. _

_The Roger came and disco danced, disco danced, disco danced, then Roger came and disco danced which went really far._

_L and Light came in and danced, in and danced in and danced, L and Light came in and danced and Misa is a whore._

_Mikami came and raised the roof, raised the roof, raised the roof, Mikami came and raised the roof and Takada got a grill._

_Takada's grill was bright and pink, bright and pink, bright and pink, Takada's grill was bright and pink and Misa is a pig._

_Near was very traumatized, traumatized, traumatized, Near was very traumatized and creepily turned on._

_Matt and Mello shoved him off, shoved him off, shoved him off, Matt and Mello shoved him so he went to join Light._

"And that's our song," Mello informed Roger. "I hope you like it." And the blond and his gamer fled the room.


	2. Kidnap Ugly Kira Girl

_**Kidnap Ugly Kira Girl**_

_**By Matt and Mello**_

_**M&M: Kidnap Ugly Kira Girl?**_

_Matt: I wanna do it!_

**Mello: I'm gonna hurl…**

_Matt: I say we should work as a team!_

**Mello: MATT YOU MAKE ME WANNA SCREAM!**

_**M&M: We're a team, bound at the seam, now and forever… WHEEEE! La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! **_

_**Kidnap the Kira girl, throw her in a fight**_

_**Make sure she cannot escape then**_

_**Run away that night.**_

_Matt: First we're going to send a note_

_And then we'll have to watch her gloat_

_When she goes a-leaving _

_We'll have to drive and grab her throat._

**Mello: Wait, I've got a better ploy **

**To catch this ugly Kira toy.**

**Push her in a busy street and**

**When it's empty, she's dead meat.**

_**M&M: Kidnap the Kira girl**_

_**Put her in a sack**_

__

_**Put her under Mello's glare and**_

_**See if she will crack.**_

**Mello: Then stupid little sheepy Near**

**Can take the slutty girl from there.**

**He'll be amused, I can assume,**

**He'll lock her in a padded room.**

_**M&M: WHEEEEE!**_

_Matt: I say that we take a hammer,_

_Aim it at her head and then_

_Question her and when she's silent_

_Kira girl will be no more!_

**Mello: You're a moron, logic dude!**

**We smash her head to little bits and**

**She can't be interrogated!**

**Near will have a freaking fit!**

_**M&M: Kidnap the Kira girl**_

_**Throw her in a truck**_

_**Drive around Japan **_

_**And watch her horrid luck!**_

__

_**Because freaking Near Nate River is**_

_**The meanest guy around**_

_**If we were on his bad guy list,**_

_**We'd get out of town!**_

_Matt: He'll be so pleased we've captured her,_

_He might let Mels be number one!_

**Mello: ****Or**** we'll make an awesome deal**

**Of videogames and chocolate, yeah?**

_**M&M: We're his ickle rivals **_

_**And we take our job with pride.**_

_**We do our best to hate him **_

_**And stay on his bad side.**_

**Mello: I wish my gamer weren't so dumb…**

_Matt: I'M NOT THAT DUMB!_

**Mello: **_**You**_** said it, love…**

_Matt: You're so evil…_

**Mello: Yes I know, so hush now, see, I've got a plan,**

**This plan is fool proof, okay man?**

**You'll chuck a smoke bomb at the station**

**Where my motorbike will be**

**Now on the bike, I'll sit and wait**

_**M&M: Until she has no time to waste**_

_**And then she'll have to go and ride**_

_**And then we've caught her**_

_**WE'RE SO COOL!!**_

_**Kidnap the Kira girl, poke her in the eye**_

_**Lock her up with Kira-Kun and**_

_**See if she will die.**_

_**Kidnap the Kira girl; kick her in the face,**_

_**Because ickle little Near-y-kins will handle her with grace**_

_**Kidnap the Kira girl,**_

_**Learn what we will learn,**_

_**Place her in an empty church **_

_**And see if she will burn!!**_

--

"O.K., sangen wir! Uns jetzt lassen gehen!" Mello whined at his gamer who sighed.

"O.K., O.K.… Jesus Mello…" Matt shook his head and both boys fled, Matt to his car, Mello to his motorbike.

--

1) "O.K., sangen wir! Uns jetzt lassen gehen" says 'Okay, we sang! Now let's go!' or so says the website I used.


End file.
